Then, when you don’t hear back from them panic sets in. Things are going along swimmingly, then literally one day you suspect something’s not right, but haven’t quite figured out what it is. However, heroin is such a powerful addiction and extremely hard to beat. They had both been doing so well, received a lot of treatment, and had learned healthy coping skills. My son had been sober for almost 3 years when he too experienced some life challenges and was ultimately drawn to what he knew best to deal with the pain. But, they are still in there and it requires doing things counterintuitive to what a parent thinks they should do in order to reach them and suppress their addict. Their addict is like a completely different person and when it is in control and you do not recognize your actual child. Later we would come to learn that having the addiction disease is in essence like being bipolar. At one point my daughter asked me if she was bipolar. Thus, begins the vicious cycle and shame of addiction. Addiction robs them of their potential and aspirations. For those susceptible to addiction, it hijacks the brain, takes control, and suffocates the true self. They think they can control it, but don’t realize how mighty and powerful the disease of addiction is. When I asked my kids why someone would use heroin again after courageously working so hard in treatment to persevere and overcome the powerful hold of the addiction cycle and had been sober for several months, their response was that they do not think it will happen to them. We had a friend pass away in January, 2018 (2 months before we lost my daughter) from an overdose (heroin laced with fentanyl) and we had all spoken about it. Often their actions and behaviors seem out of character and we don’t recognize what has happened to our children. This is why addicts will do whatever they need to in order to ‘survive’. The addiction disease is so powerful - taking control of the brain telling them they need the drug to survive. My daughter had been sober for 5.5 months and in an outpatient program (just tested negative on tuesday before dying on friday) when life happened and darkness crept in, she resorted to heroin to stop the pain, the very drug that she knew had caused her so much heartache. Both from an accidental overdose - deadly relapse. First, we lost our 19 year old daughter, Megan Szabo on 3/30/18, then just recently my 23 year old son, Matt Szabo on 6/27/20. In loving memory of both of my beautiful children. I love you and miss you my sweet baby girl. A daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, an aunt. I will continue to raise awareness of this epidemic and will not let your illness define who you were. I miss you every second of every hour of every day. It is coming up 2 years on August 19th just 4 days after your birthday. I love you Andrew, my precious son.Ĭaila my beautiful daughter. How could an evil drug take hold of such a wonderful son? I am so lucky to have had you for 21 years. My dear son, I think about you every minute of everyday. Though my heart aches terribly, I know we'll be together again one day and that brings peace. He fought his battle with every ounce of strength he had, but in the end God released him from this disease and called him home. Taken by an unintentional heroin overdose. This is in memory of my boyfriend Bryant Graham.he OD'd on August 14th.he will always be loved and remembered. I will miss him till we meet again on the other side? My Son John David passed away on 9/14/15 of an accidental Heroin OD Saddest Day of my life? He was a wonderful, Kind soul. My Dear Sweet Brother, you were so kind, so giving I wanted so badly for you to come home. think before you use.addictions promises you one of three or death.your choice. I am a survivor and a proud member of AA.and I have buried far too many friends to mentions.i miss you .Lynn.and on and on and on i could go but all preventable and all so sad because it all lies in healing our inner child and throwing love out there instead of hate. To My Son Anthony who i miss so much and i think about you everyday, every time i think of you a tear comes to my eyes but the great Memories will live on forever.
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